read this book instead of 50 shades of grey: monsieur by emma becker

Eli discovered this seemingly little-known erotic novel a few months ago, and it has quickly become one of our all-time favourites. Published in France just last year by 22-year-old Emma Becker, this extremely personal autobiography has attracted little attention but deserves the reputation that 50 Shades of Grey unjustifiably earned in recent years. Not only is Miss Becker’s novel very well-written, it describes the profound sexual and emotional obsession with men that almost every young woman has gone through. We girls have all wanted someone we couldn’t have, or become involved with someone who doesn’t love us in the same way that we love them. Emma’s doomed story of passion is relatable, fascinating, and brought me to tears.

Essentially, ‘Ellie’ (Emma’s alias in the novel) becomes sexually involved with a renowned, married surgeon much older than herself after discovering a common interest in erotic literature. Ellie becomes obsessed with this man (who she never names in the book, referring to him only as Monsieur). She describes him as a drug: she spends every minute without him quivering in anticipation of their next meeting. She lives only for the simplest communication with him, even just a short text message. The rest of Ellie’s life is a pretense that will disappear and show its emptiness as soon as her mobile lights up with his name. Monsieur becomes her only reality.

‘And then Monsieur, whom I hate… magically brings me to life, blowing on the ashes of my phoenix, his velvet tones, tender and amusing, simply saying, “Good morning, Miss Becker.”’

Many women have been in a relationship similar to Ellie’s, though perhaps one not quite as drastic or taboo! Many of us have experienced that attraction, even obsession, where our world seems to revolve around another person who has absolutely no idea how involved we are. This kind of relationship advances from hatred of that person (for being oblivious), to utter addiction, to self-hatred, to depression. This is a story that cannot have a happy ending.

However, I whole-heartedly recommend this book! Not only is Monsieur extremely sexually explicit, which is always a bit of fun, but it puts together the very best of my favourite erotic novels. This story is basically the creation of Catherine Millet from Lolita. Monsieur takes The Sexual Life of Catherine M. and puts you, a modern college student, in Catherine’s place. Ellie takes you through the intimate thoughts and emotions of moving from being merely ‘sexually active’ to becoming a deeply sexual being, finding yourself in the depths of filth and sodomy, and loving it, finding it beautiful beyond expression. Monsieur describes a side of women that is almost always hidden away, that little Lolita in us that truly wants to be defiled.

Not only this, but I absolutely fell in love with Emma (Ellie) Becker. I loved her eloquence (which is beyond her age), her bravery (or perhaps stupidity), and her fragility. I was vicariously able to live the life of this daring, unashamed, doomed girl through Monsieur.

‘Sex in his arms is a playground in which nothing, absolutely nothing, is forbidden… it’s like being drunk, the sense of release so deep that I can’t find words to express it.’


You can find Monsieur at bookstores like Barnes & Noble or Amazon.com for less than $10. We highly recommend picking it up!